broken people

“Hurt people, hurt people.” For the purposes of this blog, I am going to change this phrase to: “broken people, hurt people.” I think that “hurt people” is not specific enough. There is so much more to the story than just hurt. This weekend I had the opportunity to go see I Can Only Imagine. I know when you are thinking, why in the world would I want to go see another cheesy christian movie with bad acting and way too many Casting Crowns songs? I honestly asked myself the same question, but I kept hearing how people were learning so much about themselves through this movie. So, I saw it. I learned so much about myself, but I learned so much more about others. If you don’t know, I Can Only Imagine is about the lead singer of MercyMe, Bart Millard. He grew up with an abusive father and no help from a mother who left him alone with a man who emotionally and physically battered him. Hard. Let me go ahead and say, I grew up in a very happy home with two loving and supportive parents who reminded me of that love every day, so I did not relate to this on a personal level in that way. However, two days prior to seeing this movie, I had a random conversation with someone who had hurt me over two years ago. This person had made subtle pokes that, after taking a step back, I realized left cuts here and there that became a large wound. It took me a long time to forgive this person because the relationship had ended so badly. After a while, I began to randomly receive calls or texts, and we were able to reconcile with time. It was always hard on me, though, because these calls more often than not, took an emotional toll on me. They were always good at first and ended with baggage. So, as you can imagine, when I saw a missed call at 2:30 am, I hesitated in calling them back the next day, but I kept feeling an urge to call. It was the same routine of casual conversation (the “catching up” phase) and then turned into advice which turned into something far deeper. This person had been badly hurt long ago, and they carried this hurt because it had broken them. They buried it so deep for so long, and it was allowed to become a chasm that changed them- for worse more than for better. As I listened to their story, I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with sadness, overwhelmed with helplessness, overwhelmed with the weight it bore on them, overwhelmed with the need to wrap them in a hug. I mulled over and over what to say, how to guide them to God through the hurt, but eventually ended up simply processing with them. This was fresh on my mind as I watched Bart Millard allow hairlines to become chasms in his life. His father was abused, and so he abused. Bart was hurt and broken, and so he hurt and broke. The person I spoke to was hurting, and so they hurt whether they consciously knew it our not. It is so easy for us to categorize people into two groups: good or bad, nice or mean, evil or hero, etc. etc. We sift people into these categories based on their actions or sometimes even just one interaction with them. We all fit into one category: broken. We are a people whose lives are constantly effected by others, but there is no way for people to see that. All we see is the person in front of us. We don’t see the bruising on their back or the cuts on their arms, the degrading words of a parent or the shameful past. We just see the results of that and make our judgements. God contradicts that mentality completely, and he calls us to do the same. Bert’s dad asked him, “If God can forgive everyone else, why can’t he forgive me?” to which Bert responds, “God can forgive you, but I can’t.” That is our problem. We place ourselves in the position only God belongs in. All of us are broken. All of us need forgiveness. None of us deserve it. That is why I think “hurt people, hurt people” is too broad. Hurt can refer to a paper cut. Broken is a deep pain that only sin brings. Broken was beaten and nailed to a cross. This Easter, we are all going to see different faces- some we want to see, some we don’t. See past the face and realize everyone has hairline cracks and let that point you to Jesus. The grace Jesus spilled as he carried the weight of our broken up Golgatha, he showed to you and is the same grace he showed to Bert’s father, the same grace we are called to show to others.