kicking and screaming

Sometimes I have to stop, remember that you’re God, and I am not.

“Lord, do your will.” We hear this prayer all the time, for God to “do his will” in an aspect of our life: a time of confusion, potential hurt, potential joy, etc. What happens, though, when God actually does it? What happens if he asks you to do something, loud and clear, but you know it will hurt? Do you still want him to do his will? Let me re-phrase that, do you still allow him to do his will? Recently I have had to battle with this thought. There has been some confusing and painful situations lately, and I have repeatedly asked God to do his will or make it known to me. I did not factor in that his will would be different than my own (which it usually is). In my head, I prayed this, but, in the back of my mind, I was also praying that his will would match mine, would be mine; I was praying that I could be my own God. So often we idly ask God to do things because they sound right to us, but when they don’t necessarily feel right, we ignore what God’s response is or morph it to fit the way we would respond. God’s will is a tricky thing. It is something we, as believers, know is inevitable and fool proof, yet we almost always push against it when we recognize it because we think that God doesn’t have it right. We think he doesn’t know what we need- we know what we need. I have been listening to “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott (HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and one of the lyrics says, “ I know you’re good, but this doesn’t feel good right know.” When God asks us to do what he wants versus what we want, it won’t always feel good. It won’t always be easy. It won’t always be understood. But she follows that lyric with this one, “I know you think of things I could never think about.” That is where the wisdom is. We could never fathom the plans that the Lord has for us, and they are so far past what we think. They are so much better. With growth will come growing pains. Those growing pains will hurt, and they will sometimes last for a long time, but we end up taller. When God shows his will and asks us to do it, we have to buckle up and get ready for the growing pains knowing that he has so much more for us on the other side. It takes courage and more importantly, it takes trust.

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? Do not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.”

Matthew 6:30-33 MSG

We have to push past the need to get what we want and trust in what the Lord has to give. We have to learn to say it is well even when it doesn't seem like it. The thing about growing pains is that they make us all the more aware of the extra inch or two they gave us. Through the hurt that may come with what God's will is, we will feel his hand holding us tight even more so than before- kicking and screaming and all.

I know you see me. I know you hear me, Lord. Your plans are for me. Goodness you have in store.