identity crisis

Sophomore year has started, and already I have numerous homework assignments and two upcoming quizzes… we are back! I say that as if I dread college, but I honestly love it. The academia, the freedom to be who you are, the different types of people, all of it. Think about that, "the freedom to be who you are." This opens some dark and looming doors just as much as it opens exciting new ones. The thing about it is that it begs the question, who are you? For some an immediate answer comes into their heads, but, if you are like me, I am constantly having to re-evaluate and remind myself of this. A simple stroll by the Arkansas Union and already there are hundreds of different identities looking at you. Each of them dressing differently, speaking differently, wearing different letters, and believing very differently. It feels sometimes as though each one wants so desperately for you to join in. It is so hard not to think of the green grass. I find myself wondering what benefits I would get if I chose to change aspects of myself to fit theirs. The attention, the friends, the fun. That is when I remember, I am not like most of the students I see expressing who they are, I am not my own. I am representing so much more. I say that with weight because knowing who you are should naturally result in the expression of it. Yet, I couldn't tell you much about many identities proclaiming Christ. I couldn't tell you that people look at me and believe I proclaim Christ. Every year this identity crisis happens where we, as believers especially, are forced to come to terms with who we truly are. This requires not only introspection but an outward-looking gaze at the fruit our life has produced this past summer and is producing this first week of school. What does that fruit tell you? Are you His or are you yours? That can sound possessive and off-putting, but I find such relief in this. I never have to wander from identity to identity to see which mold I can squeeze best into. I have a perfect fit in Christ. I have power in Christ. I have confidence in Christ. I have freedom in Christ to be the best version of myself that He intended for me all along.

“You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit..."

John 15:16 MSG