fight or flight

It is hard seeing something happen and knowing you can’t do anything to stop it, but it’s even harder when you feel it is unjust. Lately, I’ve been battling with this idea of justice. I am the type that always takes up for the underdog, and I will fight hard to make sure that justice is seen. But, that doesn’t always happen- life is really really unjust sometimes. There will be moments when we can not control what happens, we cannot control it’s rightness or wrongness, and we cannot change it. What happens then? Do we fight harder to find justice? As much as every part of me wants to answer that question yes, I am learning that the answer is, more often than not, no. I have been watching a situation in my life unfold that has been so frustrating for me and challenged my urge to fight. I want there to be consequences for the wrong that happened, but the problem is, I am not in control of that. God is in control. Who am I to determine what someone deserves or doesn’t? Who am I to say there aren’t consequences that occurred that I didn’t see? I have been trying to play God. I am not equipped to play God, though, because I am biased by hurt, anger, revenge, sadness, and the list goes on. Each of those things entice me to control instead of to allow God to control. God who is “rich in love and slow to anger.” (Psalm 145:8) God who is “abounding in steadfast love.” (Psalm 86:5) God who forgives our sin “as far as the east is from the west.” (Psalm 103:12) If the roles were switched, I would want my consequences to be determined by a forgiving and gracious God, not a vengeful and hurting person. I cannot play God, but I am called to change my heart, turn my soul, and evaluate my thinking so that when I view those who have wronged me, I can view them with “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control.” This not only allows me to find peace in God’s justice and God’s timing, but it allows me to find peace in the past and heal for the future. God exhibits steadfast love to me and those who hurt me, and I am called as a believer to do the same.