it is well
I am currently sitting in a coffee shop with tears in my eyes because I got flipped off by a random car in the opposite lane on the way here. Needless to say, it has been a tough few weeks. I found out yesterday that one of my close friends has acute myeloid leukemia, I found out today that my grandma has COVID, and law finals are in the next two weeks. This past month, we studied sexual assault for three weeks, I had a very trying experience within my school community, and I did not do as well as I hoped on one of my midterms. It has been wave after wave after wave of trials, tribulations, and emotionally draining experiences. It has been wave after wave after wave of seeing the people I love hurt. It has been wave after wave after wave.
“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul, It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
This song has been close to my heart for as long as I can remember. The story of its writer, Horatio Gates Spafford, is incredible. If you know it, keep reading anyways. Horatio's life was one of success, happiness, and love. He lived faithfully, leading a devout Christian life as a lawyer in Chicago (something hard to do, I can tell you).
But a faith filled life doesn’t spare us from adversity.
Horatio lost his first son at the peak of his career, lost significant real estate to fire, and then all of his daughters to the waves of a tumultuous ocean. It was when he was sailing that very ocean to see his wife that he wrote this hymn.
When wave after wave after wave of pain threatened to overwhelm him, all he could say is, “It is well.” I imagine Horatio’s eyes filling with tears, his hand shaking as it reaches the paper, and his heart willing his words to say anything but, “It is well.” Yet he did.
“It is well.”
Right now, everything is so uncertain. Everything feels heavy and surreal. I still cannot believe Madelyn has cancer. I still cannot believe my Mamaw has COVID. I still cannot believe these things are all happening at once. What I can believe, is that the Lord is faithful.
“though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”
- Psalm 37:24
Lord, you have not failed me yet. You have, in every moment, held me up with your hand. Hold me up now. Hold Madelyn up now. Hold Mamaw up now. Hold my mom up now. Hold your children up and give them the breath to say: It is well.