70 x 7

Growing up, I always heard the phrase, “forgive and forget.” Even when I was little, I remember scoffing at that phrase. Now, I read that and think, “Whoever said that obviously never experienced real pain. They don’t understand.” This time of year is full of reminders of pain for me. It is a time where I remember over and over and over again. How in the world am I supposed to just forget? The reality is, the Bible does not call us to forget. It calls is to forgive 70 x 7 times. (Matt. 18:21-22)

Forgiveness like that has always felt like a Mt. Everest to me. The climb is too high, the pain is too unbearable, and I do not want to train for it. It isn’t worth it to me.

At least, that is how I used to think. I am reading a book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst (100% recommend), and it has changed my perspective on forgiveness completely.

Forgiveness does not mean we have to reconcile or love the inflictor, we do not have to wait to receive an apology, and we do not have to understand why what happened, happened.

When Christ died on the cross, he didn’t force us to reconcile with him- it was our choice. The same is true with those who have wronged you in your life. They may give you the apology you want and deserve, or they may choose to walk the opposite direction. But in forgiving them, your healing is not dependent on what they do. Your emotions are yours to dictate. Your actions are yours to take. You are in control because of the freedom forgiveness offers. You are in control because you are offering it up to God who is in complete control.

When I think about the life of Jesus, the perfect healer, the mender of the broken, Rapha, the forgiveness he offered others brought healing to them every. single. time. Why? Because they began to see their brokenness as beauty, and they began to forgive themselves as they chose to accept the cleansing Jesus’s blood offers us.

My pain, my hurt, my healing does not have to be cause to crane my head back and relive the hurt in the past. It is a flag post of thankfulness and an opportunity for forgiveness- an opportunity for freedom. Forgiveness is complex and hard. It forces us to look at ourselves and what we need to do rather than others and what they have done. But that is the key.

Forgiveness keeps our face towards the hope in the future that Christ has promised us. Resentment keeps us stuck in the pain of the past.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

- Romans 15:13

Forgiveness is a continual decision. It is a Mt. Everest. It does require training, it does require stamina, and sometimes it’s requires getting through more pain. But is not too high, the pain will not overcome you because it cannot overcome Christ, and it is worth it. Forgiving is the climb, the choosing 70 x 7 times to trust in the Lord’s plan rather than be frustrated because you don’t understand it. Forgiving is freedom from the grasp of others on your life as you place it into the hands of Christ over and over and over again.