for the girls

I wish girls were nicer. I wish girls could be happy for each other. I wish girls thought about the power of their words.

I wish we all thought about the power of our words.

“Out of the abundance of your heart, the mouth speaks.” - Matthew 12:34

I am not always the best about thinking before I speak, but the older I get, the more I realize how important it is to think about how you speak, especially to another woman. Us women have a unique set of struggles. We constantly have the pressure to have the best brands, the trendiest outfits, perfectly posed pictures, etc. etc. etc. We all struggle with the pressure, but instead of taking it on together and supporting one another, we make it harder for someone else.

As if that will make it any easier for ourselves.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been disappointed by women and their lack of support for one another. I can’t tell you how many times I have disappointed and not supported another woman. When this happens, friendships crumble and people get hurt. Almost always, it comes down to one exchange of words- someone said something that hurt the other. That exchange is not just word vomit, it is a product of what has taken root in our hearts. What I have found, in my own life and experience, is bitterness tends to be one of the sneakiest weeds to take root in our hearts, especially as women. We fall victim to this disease that bears its ugly face in our words.

When another woman, or another person, has the life we want, instead of being happy for them, we resent them. That resentment turns to bitterness. That bitterness turns into ugly, mean words.

Those words dissolve friendships like acid.

The Bible tells us about the power of the “bitter root that defiles many.” (Hebrews 12:15) I think the best illustration of that warning is from the “grew up Christian” child’s staple: Veggie Tales. I will never forget the episode about the rumor weed. If you haven’t seen it, long story short, the weed starts out small. It is just a tiny bud that could be trampled underneath a shoe. But, it grows as it gets fed with rumors.

In our case, replace those rumors with bitterness. Eventually, that tiny bud has been fed so much that it becomes a monster. That monster tries to destroy everything and everyone.

How do we defeat the bitterness weed? We feed it truth. A plant dies when it is exposed to too much water or sun, so goes the same for the bitterness weed. Feed it so much truth that it can’t survive any more. Saturate it in the word of God and his promises.

Girls, I think this applies to us more than anyone. Instead of seeing another woman and seeing all that you aren’t, see all that they are. Relish in the unique gifts and talents God gave them, and the unique gifts and talents God gave you. Immediately crush the bud of bitterness before it has a chance to bloom.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

- Ephesians 4:2-3

The truth of Christ is that we are called for more than petty insults thrown at each other. Instead of being humble and gentle, we get angry and callous. Instead of the goal of peace, we have the goal to hurt. That is what bitterness and sin does to our words and, in turn, our relationships. We were created to be one body in Christ, unified in the hard fight ahead. Satan knows this, and he will do everything he can to attack it. When we saturate our hearts with truth, it takes a weed eater to the buds planted by the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. It re-aligns our hearts with God’s intention for us to bear with one another in love and peace.

Life is hard enough without us pitching ourselves against each other. Let us not be like the movies and reality TV women who scream and gossip. Let us not feed the bitterness weed with resentment and spite. Let us saturate our hearts in truth so that our words overflow with it.

Women, let’s support women.