planners, calendars, clocks … oh my

It has been a while since I have been able to sit down and write like I love to do, but today there was a special need to share what the Lord has been teaching me in this new season of life.

I find comfort in control. I keep three different calendars in my room, organized by school, social, and big picture for the month. I keep two planners: one for my week, one for my day. I constantly check the date on my watch to remind myself of anything that might be coming up tomorrow. Like I said, I find comfort in control. I find comfort in what comes next.

Predictability is important to me because of that very reason- I want to know what is coming up. I want to know when I am projected to meet goals I have set for myself, I want to know when I will get married, I want to know when I will settle down in my forever job, and on and on and on.

That is not how life works. That is not how God works.

“In every situation, no matter what the circumstances, be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Life has been looking very unpredictable for me of late. Starting my 2L year has brought a whole new set of challenges and, frankly, thrown off my day to day control. As I transition into another school year, my friends are transitioning into their careers all around the country, Jake is transitioning into his career whose hours are vastly different from mine, I see my family less and less as my schedule gets more packed between work and school… so. much. change.

All of this change has brought me to a place where the Lord has brutally reminded me that the control I thought I had, I never did. I never will. And that is ok. In fact, it is a good thing.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust you.”

Isaiah 26:3

This past week has been a whirlwind, my arms flailing and my mind reeling. The Lord held last week, and he holds tomorrow. I when I find myself tossed by the waves, I can find peace in knowing he has control. Things are hard right now, and, to be honest, I am scared by all this change. God isn’t. God carefully crafted this life for me, and he has blessed each day with gifts and lessons that Satan desperately tries to distract me from by whispering anxious thoughts.

I may not know what is next, but I know God does, and that is enough. If all of my planners and calendars went up in flames, the Lord’s security over my life stays the same.